Punishing Unwanted Behaviour Just Makes it Worse

My article, “Punishments Make Unwanted Behaviour Worse” has been shared and recommended by Lives in the Balance (Dr. Ross Greene), Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. (Beyond Behaviours), Linda K. Murphy (Declarative Language), AhaParenting.com (Dr. Laura Markham), and Dr. Lori Desautels (Connections Over Compliance)! 

“The kids who are most often described as being manipulative are those least capable of doing it well.”

(Greene, 2021)

“Traditional discipline can inadvertently escalate negative behaviours because survival brains cannot process rewards, consequences, or reason.”

(Desautels, 2020)

The more we punish children, the more stressed they become. The more stressed they become, the less they are able to regulate their emotions and control their impulses.

“Pain is often misunderstood and seen as intentional disrespect, indifference, or deviant behaviour.”

(Desautels, 2020) 

The less they regulate and inhibit, the more they get in trouble. The more they get in trouble, the more they get punished. They more are punished, the more stress they experience, and the cycle continues.

“It is powerful when we can model an observation of our own mistake and then model how we take responsibility for it.”

(Murphy, 2020)

Continue reading on Neurodiversified.


Published by Jillian ADHD 2e MB

Jillian has Child and Youth Work diploma as well as a BA in Psychology. Jillian worked on the front lines of Social Services agencies from 2003 - 2012. Jillian has taken numerous continuing education courses and has attended various workshops focused on supporting neurodiverse children, in particular children with ADHD.

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