November Call for Submissions

Our November writing prompt: Write about how different you were five or 10 years ago, as compared to now. This can be in the form of: Writing a letter to your younger self. Writing a letter to a significant person in your life, describing how you’ve changed. Thanking someone who was instrumental in positive changesContinue reading “November Call for Submissions”

I Survived Years of Relentless Bullying

If a child tells you they are being bullied: Believe the child and take them seriously. Listen and provide a safe space for the child to talk. Let them know it’s not their fault, you’re sorry this is happening, and that you will help them. Tell them you care about them, they do not deserveContinue reading “I Survived Years of Relentless Bullying”

Help With Challenging Behaviours

In this case challenging is an adverb, not a verb. We’re not challenging the kids, even though their behaviour is sometimes challenging. What NEED is the behaviour meeting for that child? “ADHD is a deficit of regulation, not a deficit of knowledge.” – Dr. Russell Barkley “Instead of viewing behaviours purely as difficulties we needContinue reading “Help With Challenging Behaviours”

Punishments Don’t Teach Skills

Okay, maybe one: They teach people how to be better at avoiding punishment. Punishments do not teach skills. They use threat, intimidation, and manipulation to coerce children into doing what we want. And by “we”, I usually mean adults, the ones with all the power in the situation, using that power imbalance to force children into doingContinue reading “Punishments Don’t Teach Skills”

Oppositional Defiance?

I have written three extensively-researched articles about the topic of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (O.D.D.), in particular as it relates to ADHD.

Lucky vs. Unlucky Behaviours

Why some people get support while others just get punished As a child and young adult with undiagnosed ADHD, I always experienced my emotions very intensely. I did not learn, and was not taught, adaptive coping skills or social skills, so I was punished for my “misbehaviour”. In childhood, I frequently acted out with both verbal and physicalContinue reading “Lucky vs. Unlucky Behaviours”

“Punishment” Does. Not. Work.

…And it’s particularly ineffective with neurodiverse kids. Bear with me. Before you read the title and dismiss the premise, I am not advocating for a permissive style of parenting, and I am not suggesting that children shouldn’t have boundaries. Boundaries vs. Punishment The difference is that boundaries and discipline are about teaching, whereas punishment isContinue reading ““Punishment” Does. Not. Work.”

Kinder, More Effective Alternatives to Punishment

We can guide our children, and set appropriate boundaries, without resorting to threats, intimidation, coercion, or punishment. “The kids who need love the most will ask for it in the most unloving ways” – Dr. Russell Barkley “As adults, we often view children’s behaviour through an adult lens, making assumptions based on adult life experiencesContinue reading “Kinder, More Effective Alternatives to Punishment”

ADHD Treatment Has Nothing to do With School

…And everything to do with self-worth, daily functioning, quality of life, and mental health. Many children with ADHD are identified as struggling with focus, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and other symptoms when they start school. This is because the demands of our traditional school system are often unrealistic even for typically developing children, let alone children withContinue reading “ADHD Treatment Has Nothing to do With School”

“Misbehaviour” is Actually STRESS Behaviour

“The concept of misbehaviour is fundamentally tied to those of volition, choice, and awareness.” (Siegel & Bryson, 2020) “A child who seems to be misbehaving is, in the process, adapting and surviving. (Delahooke, 2019) “When we are ignored as human beings, it decreases our emotional links to other people, who should be our life raftsContinue reading ““Misbehaviour” is Actually STRESS Behaviour”