Children Are Not Mini Adults

Stop comparing apples to oranges Some try to justify the use of punishment and rewards to gain compliance from children by claiming that we do the same to adults. “We wouldn’t go to work if our employer stopped paying us” they say. Well, sure. We chose to go to work. We applied for the job, attended theContinue reading “Children Are Not Mini Adults”

Repairing The Disconnect

Four ways you can improve your relationship and deepen your connection with your child Relationships are always changing and evolving, especially the parent-child relationship, because our children grow and change so much in such a short period of time. When we notice our relationship with our child isn’t as close as we’d like it toContinue reading “Repairing The Disconnect”

My Top Performing Articles of 2021

I’ve been on medium for eight months, and it’s been quite a ride so far. I have really enjoyed writing here and reading stories and articles shared by others. To date, I’ve published 175 articles. Recently I’ve made it to 1.5K followers, and have reached more than 50K readers, which is very exciting for me.Continue reading “My Top Performing Articles of 2021”

My Anti-Behaviourism Series

My stories explaining the many problems with behaviourism, backed by extensive research Dear readers, I have a(nother) confession to make: Once upon a time, I was a behaviourist. I was a professional dog trainer for 11 years. While I was a positive, fear free certified trainer, I was still a behaviourist. Fast forward to 2019,Continue reading “My Anti-Behaviourism Series”

Stop Recommending Behavioural Therapies

The definition of “success” in these programs is compliance. Do we really want compliance and obedience to be our primary goals when it comes to supporting our children? I’m going with a hard no on this one, and I’ll tell you why. Behaviours are external manifestations of the child’s inner experiences. To ignore the behaviour is to ignore the child’s feelings.Continue reading “Stop Recommending Behavioural Therapies”

Challenging Behaviours in Teens

Supporting older children and teens while working through challenging emotions and behaviours Adolescence can be such a difficult time — both for the teen, and for the people in their life who care about them. I also know from my professional experience that teens are sorely misunderstood, unfairly labelled, and often have an undeservedly badContinue reading “Challenging Behaviours in Teens”

Children Are Cute, But They’re Not Puppies

Nor are they pigeons, rats, or any other animal to be “trained” I have extensive training in positive reinforcement because I was a certified dog trainer for 11 years, but I will never use this approach with children. I want my son learn and practice the skills of decision-making and taking responsibility for his actions.Continue reading “Children Are Cute, But They’re Not Puppies”

Opposing Opposition

And defying defiance: My story series on O.D.D. Opposing Opposition and Defying Defiance My story series explaining the many problems with diagnosing children with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (O.D.D.). Firstly, stop calling children “defiant”. Just. Stop. Stop Calling Children “Defiant” Secondly: Yes, I’m okay with my son calling me out Also, O.D.D. Does Not Exist! O.D.D. Does Not Exist IContinue reading “Opposing Opposition”

The Power of Validation

A profound way to strengthen the parent-child relationship Have you ever had someone tell you that you were “being too sensitive” or “overreacting” to something? How’d that work out for them? How did you feel about them after they said that? If someone tells me that I’m overreacting it is highly likely that I will alsoContinue reading “The Power of Validation”

Help With Challenging Behaviours

In this case challenging is an adverb, not a verb. We’re not challenging the kids, even though their behaviour is sometimes challenging. What NEED is the behaviour meeting for that child? “ADHD is a deficit of regulation, not a deficit of knowledge.” – Dr. Russell Barkley “Instead of viewing behaviours purely as difficulties we needContinue reading “Help With Challenging Behaviours”