Help With Challenging Behaviours

In this case challenging is an adverb, not a verb. We’re not challenging the kids, even though their behaviour is sometimes challenging. What NEED is the behaviour meeting for that child? “ADHD is a deficit of regulation, not a deficit of knowledge.” – Dr. Russell Barkley “Instead of viewing behaviours purely as difficulties we needContinue reading “Help With Challenging Behaviours”

Punishments Don’t Teach Skills

Okay, maybe one: They teach people how to be better at avoiding punishment. Punishments do not teach skills. They use threat, intimidation, and manipulation to coerce children into doing what we want. And by “we”, I usually mean adults, the ones with all the power in the situation, using that power imbalance to force children into doingContinue reading “Punishments Don’t Teach Skills”

Oppositional Defiance?

I have written three extensively-researched articles about the topic of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (O.D.D.), in particular as it relates to ADHD.

Lucky vs. Unlucky Behaviours

Why some people get support while others just get punished As a child and young adult with undiagnosed ADHD, I always experienced my emotions very intensely. I did not learn, and was not taught, adaptive coping skills or social skills, so I was punished for my “misbehaviour”. In childhood, I frequently acted out with both verbal and physicalContinue reading “Lucky vs. Unlucky Behaviours”

“Punishment” Does. Not. Work.

…And it’s particularly ineffective with neurodiverse kids. Bear with me. Before you read the title and dismiss the premise, I am not advocating for a permissive style of parenting, and I am not suggesting that children shouldn’t have boundaries. Boundaries vs. Punishment The difference is that boundaries and discipline are about teaching, whereas punishment isContinue reading ““Punishment” Does. Not. Work.”

Kinder, More Effective Alternatives to Punishment

We can guide our children, and set appropriate boundaries, without resorting to threats, intimidation, coercion, or punishment. “The kids who need love the most will ask for it in the most unloving ways” – Dr. Russell Barkley “As adults, we often view children’s behaviour through an adult lens, making assumptions based on adult life experiencesContinue reading “Kinder, More Effective Alternatives to Punishment”

“Misbehaviour” is Actually STRESS Behaviour

“The concept of misbehaviour is fundamentally tied to those of volition, choice, and awareness.” (Siegel & Bryson, 2020) “A child who seems to be misbehaving is, in the process, adapting and surviving. (Delahooke, 2019) “When we are ignored as human beings, it decreases our emotional links to other people, who should be our life raftsContinue reading ““Misbehaviour” is Actually STRESS Behaviour”

O.D.D. Does Not Exist

“Diagnoses — such as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, an autism spectrum disorder, reactive attachment disorder, the newly coined disruptive mood regulation disorder, or any other disorder — can be helpful in some ways. They “validate” that there’s something different about your kid, for example. But they can also be counterproductive in thatContinue reading “O.D.D. Does Not Exist”

Gaining a Better Understanding of Children’s Behaviour

“Too often, caregivers, teachers, providers, and parents assume that a child is acting deliberately, when in fact a behaviour is actually a stress response” -Dr. Mona Delahooke “We should always assume that something led up to a behaviour — because something did. Something always does because behaviour does not occur in a vacuum.” -Jillian Enright, ADHD 2eContinue reading “Gaining a Better Understanding of Children’s Behaviour”

Table of Contents

Organized chaos, a.k.a., an easier way to find specific topics. I write about several different topics, but the most common subject areas are: Parenting ADHD and Neurodiversity Education and Child Advocacy Disabilities Psychology and Mental Health My Recommended Readings: My Reading Recommendations — the best and most informative books about ADHD & Parenting Stories about Parenting and ChildhoodContinue reading “Table of Contents”